So I felt I needed to write a journal explaining my thoughts on that photo. I had one typed up but Firefox decided to close my tab. SO I am gonna re-write it.

I didn't want to bog down my artist's comments with my idea and inspiration on that photo so here it is.


My skin is dirty everywhere save for my face to symbolize a mask of paint and glue and glitter that covers the flaws I am uncomfortable with. Instead I glow, I mimic something that soars in the skies and in many ways, towers above the rest of the world. The dirt shows that I am still real through all of this.

Two moths, a male in my hand to show the masculine expectations of me, right in front of my face. The female, whose wings are disintegrating, clinging to my shoulder; shows the last part of me that is still feminine. Both are just as important to me.

Like moths, I am very drawn to things that burn me or hurt me. But regardless of the lessons I have learned I keep bumping into light bulbs and flames. But I have never been happier than when nursing my wounds.

The light in the corner, which is very specific shows that what I am looking for is still quite alive and shining, but that happiness cannot be found in all corners of life. The dark behind me is simply there to show that light does not exist without dark and there is no good without bad.



The entire photo really shook me. I knew the idea I had in my head was something darker, sinister. But when we started shooting it just fell into this, which is VERY true to who I am and how I feel right now in life.


I don't think I have ever been so proud of something before. I usually dread getting all dressed up or painted up for photos, it is /alot/ of work and it usually leaves me feeling drained and frustrated. But today, I literally skipped into my living room to sit at my vanity. It felt so nice to be doing something that /I/ really wanted to be doing.



I have to thank for taking this photo for me. I like to pretend that the magic in the photos is all Me, but if it weren't for his fantastic ability to use my camera I would be doomed!

Thank you all SO MUCH for the comments and the faves on this photo, it means the world to me.


~~kai